*sighs* I've been considering on and off whether or not to go to Cedar Point this summer or not. I've got a girlfriend here, the praise band is doing some really neat stuff I want to get in on, we have kittens, we're going to have puppies... On the other hand, I have Neek and Beta, free access to the park, and will be working in the arcade. It's a tough choice, really, and one I'm not sure I can make. I spent time with my Ashley today. I'm happy because she showed me something kinda nifty. :) And she made me kiss her bellybutton because it hurt (pierced yestereve). Tomorrow I'm going to Camden Park with Michelle and Dan. Ashley was going to go, but it's been decreed "family time" due to being Memorial Day. That kinda depresses me. I love her and I want to spend more time with her before I leave. I have a week and a half, and it's full of appointments and commitments. I'm really close to just chucking everything to the side, sitting in my room, and writing my crappy little book. If anyone wanted me, they'd just have to come here and ask if today was a social day. Reka wants my help with something. I can't do it. Why? Because my mom's mad at me. Why's she mad at me? Because I've been getting out of the house lately. I've been spending more than one day a week out with a friend. She's beginning to worry about me leaving. She wants her baby to stay at home. *sighs* I recognize this, but it's kind of getting to the annoying point. Last night, I had a sex talk. I had to interrupt her several times saying "Mom, it's me. I have no sex drive. And if things happen, I will use a condom. And if I get someone pregnant, I will take care of my responsibilities." Etcetera. I didn't tell her that I've had offers. I didn't tell her that I weaseled out of those offers like a good little John-Boy. If I told her, I sure as hell wouldn't mention it wasn't because of my religion, my feelings for the offerer, saving it for marriage, morals, or whatever. I'm just not interested in sex. It's there. Whoopedeeshit. I'm not ready for it, and I recognize this. So, why worry my fuzzy little head about it? *sighs* I've got so much in my head right now, it's making me ache. Don't you hate that? When you've got things in your head that you've got to get out, but you can't? Peace and Health. John-Boy
|
