. I'm getting negative. This isn't a good thing. I've lost trust in people. I don't know why, but I think it's an after-effect of the relationship with Heather. Maybe. Maybe there's another reason. I honestly don't know. Anyway, this isn't a good thing. People are getting on my nerves a lot easier. Not good. My schoolwork is slipping again. This really is not good. The rest can be handled, but this stuff goes on a permanent record. *sighs* I can't get myself to get up in the morning. Even if I'm not really tired, I just don't want to get out of bed. Everything I really do seems to fall to shit. I get an idea for a paper, I can't get it out. Or my software stops working and anything I download doesn't work. Or nobody expresses any real interest in things I try to make work and it falls to shit. Really, all I can do is sit around and do things for other people. I'm a good errand boy, general grunt, subordinate, he-bitch, whatever you want to call me. If I'm doing anything for myself, or of my own idea, it just goes to hell and back. *sighs* One could draw a reasonable conclusion that it's because I don't try for myself. Why not? I don't know. I just like other people more than I like myself. I don't know why. I'm tired. Slainte John-Boy
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