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Chait Wolf: Once upon a time, there was a puppy.

Chait Wolf: This puppy was a tiny puppy. In fact, he was the smallest puppy in the whole wide world. Everyone made fun of the tiny puppy.

Chait Wolf: One day, a little boy wanted a puppy. He couldn't afford a normal one, so he bought the tiniest puppy in the whole wide world. The little boy named him "Rat"

Chait Wolf: Rat hated his little boy.

Chait Wolf: The little boy would often try to play with Rat, but Rat would bite at his fingers and run to hide in a dark corner.

Chait Wolf: When the little boy fed Rat, Rat would gobble down his food as quickly as he could and run away again.

Chait Wolf: This continued for a whole year until, finally, the little boy was abducted by aliens

Chait Wolf: Rat found out about this and tried to live normally. But the thought of the little boy kept hanging over his head. So, he built his own spaceship out of an old shoe box, twine, and some spent plutonium.

Chait Wolf: He searched long and hard for the aliens who captured the little boy until finally he found them. They were odd looking beings, because they had three arms, were purple, and had fifteen legs. Rat looked at them and was afraid.

Chait Wolf: "Rat!" cried the little boy. "Rat! You've come to rescue me! I love you, Rat!"

Chait Wolf: Rat knew then that he must complete his mission or die trying.

Chait Wolf: "I'll give you ten whole dollars," said Rat, "if you disect him and use him in weird experiments."

Chait Wolf: The aliens agreed and invited Rat to have dinner with them.

Chait Wolf: They had burgers and fries, except in odd colors, and it was very very good. The aliens then gave Rat a friendly anal probe and sent him on his way.

Chait Wolf: And Rat lived happily ever after.