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Another story tonight, folks.

Chait Wolf: Once upon a time, there was a brave little kitten.

Chait Wolf: This is a kitten who literally had no fear. He went bungie jumping often while his friends pussied out at the last minute.

Lunzie: Yay!

Lunzie: *rolls eyes at the bad pun*

Chait Wolf: He decided that he wanted to enter the fighting circuit. So, he started training.

Lunzie: *roots for the kitten*

Lunzie: *hopes the kitten invested in good armor*

Chait Wolf: The kitten spent hours in the gym lifting weights, skipping rope, and sleeping in piles of sweaty laundry.

Lunzie: Eww...

Lunzie: Stinky kitty...

Chait Wolf: The kitten's first match was against a very large and mean man. The man laughed when he saw his opponent was a kitten. The kitten didn't mind, because he knew he was a badass and would soon make this man bleed.

Lunzie: Mean people suck.

Chait Wolf: The bell rang and the man leaned over and tickled the kitten's ears. The kitten scratched him hard across the nose. The man picked up the kitten and threw him into the crowd.

Lunzie: Bad man!

Chait Wolf: The kitten realized that day that a kitten has no business in the fighting circuit when all his opponents were large mean men.

Lunzie: Beat him up! Kick him in the head!

Lunzie: Don't give up, little kitten!

Chait Wolf: So he became a photographer. His fine works soon made him the most wanted kitten photographer in the whole world. He soon had women, a mansion, a fine car, and several custom made suits of plate mail. The mean and large man was hired to wash the kitten's headlights, where he was forced to be nice to the kitten.

Lunzie: Yay!

Lunzie: *laughs*

Chait Wolf: And so one day the kitten hit the large and mean man in the head with a bucket and said "Don't you ever fuck with a kitten. We've got long memories." Then the kitten kicked the man in the face and left, saying "Bitch."

Lunzie: *laughs hysterically*

Chait Wolf: And the mean man didn't say anything to anyone about that day because he knew that the kitten would have him drawn and quartered in the city square and claim it was for a magazine cover.

Chait Wolf: The end

Slainte!

John-BOy