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Contentment. It's a delicious feeling.

Unfortunately, I'm not really content. I'm pseudo-content. The bad thing is I've got a tummy ache, AD&D is Monday (which I don't really have much for; I'm a lazy DM), and my arm is cold. Plus, roleplaying online is a very slow thing that's forcing me to deal with some very stupid people. And it doesn't move fast enough for me to write the way I really want to write. I have to presume things, which I really don't like, just in order to have more than a weak little sentence or two. *sigh*

Bright side. AD&D is Monday. I finally get to get this storyline off the ground and feel comfortable writing about The Big Surprise on here. I still won't be able to give stats, but I can finally let everyone know about it.

I don't know why, but lately I've just felt like crying. I haven't done it, but I've gotten the tearing up feeling in my eyes. Maybe it's my sinuses, maybe it's my slight cold, maybe it's repressed emotions surfacing after the fact. Or it could be I'm "a new age guy who's in touch with his emotions." Like that's really anything to be proud of. Emotions are there whether you're in touch with them or not. If you ignore them, you're a fool. If you pay too much attention to them, you're a fool. What am I? Hell...I'm a fool. Or at least I want to be.

Fools have it so much easier. Less stress, less responsibilities, less expected out of you...Yeah, I'm lazy. However, a lot of people expect a lot of me. If you need help writing something, you come to me. I'll give you some pointers. If you have questions about something, you come to me. If I don't know the answer, I'll know where to find it or who will. If you want to talk, come to me. I almost always make time. It's part of being John-Boy. I like it. But, sometimes, I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. Which I do for maybe five minutes. That's when I come out in search for someone to talk to, because, while hiding in a ball may shield you from the world, it's also very boring. I dread the day that I'll be living by myself. I dread when I won't be able to get online and talk to Neek, Logan, Beta, Erika, or Michelle. Or anyone else. I can not be alone. However, I tend to force myself into solitude regularly. Why? I have no clue. Maybe it's time to gather myself. Maybe it's a case of masochism or self-pity. Maybe it's just time to think, meditate, or do my philosophy thing. Maybe it's time to hunt down a cat and read with him on my chest for awhile. Or it could just be because I'm chaotic neutral. I truly don't know.

Damn, I needed to get that stuff out of my system. Too much negativity bumping around in my veins. *shudders*

I watched "The Shadow" today. Very funny, very cheesy, very enjoyable. The way the villain was dealt with was quite fitting and there were a few moments of interesting special effects. Suggested.

I leave.

Peace and Health.

John-Boy