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"Baby, you're my sister and I love you. If there's anything I can do for you, you let me know and I'll do it. I hate to see you hurt and I'll do anything I possibly can to help."

I've said that three times today to three different girls. I hate it when my friends hurt, especially when they're close to me. And especially when I can't do anything. Two of them are a little too far to hug and the other...I don't know how much my hugs do, really. All I want to do is help them. And, really, I guess all I can do right now is love them and remind them that I mean it when I say I'll do what I can to help.

I left at three o'clock today to go to Walmart with friends so I could pick something up to do something special for Heather. They had their own reasons, but I just needed the supplies. Since then I've been pining to hear her voice and just talk to her. Throughout the day, there's been six messages on my machine from her. One was at 7:00, when I was just getting settled in at rehearsal. There's a six hour time difference between here and Italy. She called me at one in the morning, her time. Her normal wake up time is around four in the morning. Damn.

If you read her diary and you're concerned, don't be overly worried. A song came up on my MP3 list while I was reading it and writing her an email. As the chorus goes, "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."

God, I love her. I love her so much it hurts at times. This is the most intense emotion I've ever felt and it scares me. It's a very frightening thing, really. Damn.

Slainte

John