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Sometimes I question my own humanity. I'm so different from everyone I know. The reactions I have are so different from anything anyone else shows that I think I may be insane or just so totally different that I don't count as a man.

I'm a big ole smiling fuzzy man tonight. Yet I have a very good friend who I've been around for the past several hours who is depressed enough that they may kill themself. I tried to help them, but nothing was working. They don't like to be touched, which is actually my primary form of help. Hug and hold until they feel better. That didn't work and neither did sitting, listening, and offering advice. By all means, I should be frustrated and worried as hell, yet I'm not. I'm big, smiley, and philosophical.

Some people never change. Some are constantly changing.

Tonight, I think God was talking to me. Anytime I looked up at the moon, there would be clouds backlit by it that showed me various images. Sure, it could be my subconscious or me trying to find symbolism in the abstract and natural, but it could be something else. Why the hell else would I see a cloud shaped as an angel from my perspective of hanging upside down from a swing and partially laying in the dirt?

I dunno. I'm running off.

Slainte!

John-Boy